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What Were You Thinking?
High Speed Car Chase
News Correspondent:
Why did you flee from the police and start a dangerous car chase that caused multiple wrecks along the I-9 freeway?
Prisoner:
Well you see ma’am, my buddy and me were talking and he runs a towing company. He said business had been really slow lately. He told me if I could wreck at least 15 cars he could get me free room and board, 3 free meals a day, and I wouldn’t have to work another day in my life.
Robber Gives Change Back
News Correspondent:
Why did you rob Burn My Burgers and give them change back of $300.00?
Prisoner:
Heck ma’am, I wasn’t a robbin’ anybody! I been going there for 15 years and they been forgettin’ to give me my fries with every darn order. I thought it was about high time I be gettin’ my money back…and they call me a “THIEF”!!!
Man Accused Of Arson Claims False Arrest
News Correspondent:
Why did you set the building on fire? Aren’t you aware that arson is a serious charge?
Prisoner:
Well ya see ma’am, my ole’ lady put her foot down and said she wasn’t going to fix me any supper ‘til I fixed the darn chicken shed. I was outta nails and couldn’t do any fixin’ on the shed and I was gettin’ mighty hungry. I thought a fella could fry his own chicken, so I set the shed on fire. Next thing I know I’m bein’ hauled off to jail for something called arson!
Early Morning Drug Raid
At 3:00 a.m. April 01, 2006 in Weedstown, MS officials surrounded a home
with helicopters, and drug enforcement teams. The previous day during a fly
over the DET detected abnormal amounts of thermal heat inside the home of
the suspect. Newsteams were standing by for the raid and it was televised on the
local news station showing over 30 officers from various cities and
departments loading vehicles with over 500 marijuana plants and 20 heat
lamps. The biggest bust this city had ever seen. Special Agent Duber received a
call from the crime lab later that morning only to be informed that all the
marijuana plants confiscated earlier that day were artificial silk plants,
and that the charges would have to be dropped. When interviewed, the supsect
stated "APRIL FOOLS"!!!
Help Wanted Ads:
Help Wanted:
Need A Driver For Upcoming Bank Robbery. Must have dependable transportation.
Call 574-555-1314
Help Wanted:
Need reliable worker male or female for walking route. Experience with syphon hose preferred but willing to train. Call 574-555-8932
Help Wanted:
Need somebody to show up to work for me while I'm temporarily detained. Should probably look like me so call for description. Call the jail at 574-555-3890
Lost & Found Ads:
Found:
Envelope filled with incriminating photos. Please call 574-555-8974 and describe yourself.
Lost:
URGENT! Prescription bottle of Purzac somewhere between Dr.'s Office and Bar. Reward of $50.00! My wife REALLY needs these! Call 574-555-8997
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