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Bubba's Thoughts For The Day:
Words of Wisdom - Insane Ideas - New Jokes - Bad Advice

funny picture

Was sitting at the donut shop this morning when I overheard a funny conversation.

A couple of prescriptions got mixed up at the pharmacy and apparently the lady who got the patch to keep from getting pregnant ended up with nicotine patches and the fellow who was supposed to get the nicotine patches ended up with birth control patches.

The fella's wife is pissed because his boobs are bigger than hers now.

And the gal who didn't smoke in the first place now craves cigarettes and is knocked up!

Go figure!

Don't say "yuck" into the microphone when a woman opens her webcam and she's not what you had visioned. They have ways of tracking you down and marrying you!

See above video for the "Number 1 Reason" they tell you not to give out personal information over the internet!

Hit the "record" button whenever a naughty webcam opens up and you recognize the person on the other end. Makes a great conversation starter the next time you run into them!

Redneck Household Entry Disclaimer:

Due to the increasing popularity of lawsuits we have created a disclaimer that releases us of all liabilities. We will not be held responsible for bodily injury, mental deprivations, intoxication, allergic reactions, offensive odors, phobias, drive-by shootings, animal attacks whether it be a pet or wild critter, insect bites/stings, etc. Upon entering our home you agree to hold us harmless and to waive your rights of privacy, freedom of speech, physical safety, anything that you see or hear within our home may not be discussed off the premises. If you feel that you may be offended or disagree with this disclaimer then get the hell off our property and donít come back.

Alternatives For Fancy Gadgets

Paintball Guns - Iffin' you can't afford to get yer kids a fancy paintball gun do the next best thing. Hand 'em a slingshot and a bag of cherry tomatoes.

Snowboards - Dig out the cookie sheets! Any full blooded redneck will testify that those babies are slicker than snot!

The wife is always going on and on about NOT making a fuss over her on Valentine's Day. Says it's the thought that counts and such. Well, I put a lot of thought into the gifts from previous years but she didn't quite take to them like I thought she would.

$1.19 bottle of wine.
I was thinkin' if she takes a liking to liquor she might just drink all my beer.

Brand new mop & bucket.
I was thinkin' it would be fun to see what color the floor was cause I couldn't remember.

Romantic dinner at fast food restaraunt.
I was thinkin' she might like to go inside for a change instead of fetching dinner through the drive through.

Chocolates left-over from last years candy box.
I was thinkin' of how proud she'd be of me for not wasting food. She's been riding me for years to recycle.

Midnight moped ride through the park.
I was thinkin' I'm getting too old to be peddling her on the bike.

Dozen roses printed on high quality photo paper.
I was thinkin' these would last a lifetime instead of just a week.

45 second back massage.
I was thinkin' any longer and she might think I was interested in something else.

Windows 95
I was thinkin' how proud she would be to be a part of the technology crowd.

This year I was thinkin' of having the utilities turned back on.

All these years I thought my wife had a mean temper. Seemed like every time I opened my mouth to get a word in edge-wise she'd haul off and kick me. I just figured she'd learned to hate me over the years. Come to find out the doc says she's got somethun' called "Restless Foot Syndrome!".

Some darn fool tried stealing my identity. Guess he didn't get what he'd bargained for and sent me a condolence card in the mail today.

In it he wrote:

Dear Chum,
Please accept my humblest of apologies. I am sorry I stole your identity.

First I had a phone installed under your name. The dang thing wouldn't stop ringing! Bill collectors, lawyers, and your cousin Billy called collect from the State Pen every day!

I applied for credit cards but instead of receiving cards I received balance due notices threatening to take me to court if not paid in full within 7 days. I've had to move twice already!

I came home from a night out on the town last week and found your wife and kids sprawled out all over the house. My house is trashed, they've eaten all the food, and they refuse to leave!

I promise to turn my life around and never commit another crime for as long as I live if you will come pick up your family.

I replied:


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